It must be because Mercury is in retrograde...

Last night, as we came home from the theatre, loud, explosive but very familiar noises assaulted our ears. The sky above Holland Park Avenue lit up with bursts of red, white and blue light. We could see the fireworks' reflection in the windows of the townhouses opposite our flat, but we couldn't see the actual pyrotechnics.

I guessed that the fireworks came from the street behind us, too low to see over the roofs from our street, but perhaps visible from our back bedroom. I ran upstairs, searched frantically for the key that opened the door to the small balcony off the bedroom, discovered that the key was not on top of the bookcase as I had carefully left it but was downstairs on the keyring o'spares, and managed to step outside in bare feet on the unswept, unkempt balcony just long enough to see, through a small gap in the adjoining rooftops, about two minutes of fireworks.

I'm not sure who put on the display, but it was very much appreciated. I noticed the couple next door, also American expats, were on their roof terrace, wrapped in each other's arms, watching as well. Happy (belated) Fourth of July!

Mercury went into retrograde yesterday. While I am not a huge believer in astrology, I am enough of a Gemini to want to keep my options open. And I've certainly started to feel out of sorts and wrong side front the past few days.

I'm...homesick. There. I admitted it. Oh, I still love living here and if I were told to move home tomorrow I would be devastated to leave but...I'm homesick.

I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss having a network. I miss feeling plugged in. I miss knowing all the unspoken, unwritten cultural "rules."

Some of this comes from moving to a new place, and I would feel the same if I had just moved to a new town in the US. I keep reminding myself that it takes time to make friends, it takes time to put down roots. But while we had a very promising start to our social life here, our favorite people have moved away (another by-product of living an international life - people & their jobs tend to be transitory) and replacements have been hard to come by.

Part of it is the weather. We're having a heatwave. A muggy, sticky, non-air conditioned heatwave. According to the Evening Standard newspaper, the heat index on the Central Line (my commute) is 98 degrees Fahrenheit. It's not much better in our flat, which, as fabulous as it is (great location, lots of space) has zero cross ventilation. And two floors. Above a garage. And heat rises.

I'm consoling myself by going shopping. The sales are on! Unlike US stores, which have permanent markdown racks, most London stores only put their wares on sale twice a year: January and July. But...and I never thought I'd ever say this...it IS possible to have too much stuff. It just is. And I hate feeling like I need to be out shopping because now is the time for a bargain. I love to shop. I'm a great shopper. I'm great at spotting bargains. But when sale time comes only twice a year and EVERYONE has bargains and it's buy now or never get your bargain again it's just...draining and ennervating. I'm not explaining it well and I know I sound like a spoiled prig because, after all, I can afford my shopping habit but...sometimes the hole is in your soul, not in your closet, and no amount of cutprice fashion is going to make you feel better.

And my husband is out of sorts because his job search is dragging on and he's had to deal more than one person ever should with the veddy British passive aggressive recruiters, whose way of dealing with rejection is just not to return phone calls. Look, pick up the phone and tell him he didn't get the job, m'kay? Don't just leave him sitting by the phone, wondering what happened. Especially when you all but promised him the job when you called to set up the interview.

Directness. I think I miss that most of all.

Mercury comes out of retrograde on the 29th. I can't wait...!